Having been back home for a couple of weeks, I, after a very short period of satisfying interval, start feeling enormously bored and uneasy and upset and misgiving... Word accumulation only generates a worry of lack of vocabulary. Not having implemented a lot of plans and a determined passion to persist with them, I am truly at a loss for what the likelihood I would succeed the very next time. Perhaps I should consider taking a trip by myself just for the purpose of temporarily hanging over all the appehension for the outcome. When I am home, a profound realization of the terrible change of the world often attacks me with the vivid reality: my middle school classmates having been married on an out-of-blue basis and borne a baby, numerous skyscrapers having erected on the newly-paved street of Jilin city, the costumes in the department store can occasionally catch my eyeballs and I don't even think they are worse than those in Qin. Quite often a sense of warmth and closeness prevails, but a stronger sense time and again defeat that feeling, it is ambition again maybe. I don't belong to this city, maybe even this country. Such considerations may sound absurd enough, but it is a dorminant in my heart, at least for the moment. Of course there are things which have never changed: Father is still struggling for a stable but not better life in his motormobile, the home is still so messy, grandma is still so torturing, Mother still haves to take care of the son-abandoned grandma...whatever is taking place, I am always cherishing a hope in my deep heart that everying will be better.