| jane's profileBe happy, Jane!PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
May 30 All Play and No Work Makes Jane a Moody Girl In this cozy summer day, I manage to find another impetus and interest to devote myself to books, which make me fairly relieved. However, in recent days, I cannot still help watching the Korean soap opera, p.s. it is not a totally meaningless rubbbish like most others. It is about wedding and the acquaintance between the two leading roles. It fills me with an intense aspiration for true love with someone who is destinied to be my prince. It gererates in me a cozy and gentle delight.... How beautiful life is! By the way, Jane, I have to remind you that you have more than 10 books to read before u finish your planned ambition, so watch out and work hard!  May 25 How I fared the past two years I think I have had this meditation long enough to pick up full courage to move forward. Before doing that, I would like to conclude how I had fared for the past 2 years since I came here. There are so many trifles that some of them are not worth mentioning, SO i would just extract some of the memorable things, which trauly exerted some inluence on me and my decisions for the future. The most valuable things began with meeting with Jing, who appeared in a special period in my life, when I first stepped out of ivory tower and into the so-called social college. Although working in the college as a teacher is far from complicated and people nearby sophisticated, life has been tremendously different for me. I have to spend most of the time being alone, walking home alone, watching movies alone, thinking alone, reading alone... What had accompanied most is profound loneliness and boundless silence. Then Jing came into my life, which began to grow somewhat colorful. She took me home on her bike and went back to school alone. Such memories will never vanish thoughout my life. What she did for me, like a pebble thown into the sea, stirred up ever-widening circles of gratitude and appreciation in me for the bless of god. Till now, i have still always deemed myself lucky to meet Jing. She took me to KFC, to Silver Valley to play dancing machine, too much to list...After the first winter vacation, I moved from the slum to SHIJI community, which, for fairly a long time, became a big motivator for me to go back home. There I was acquainted with Xiaoyong, who oftentimes took back some untouched "leftovers" and some household appliances like television and water machine. And all those rendered me some feelings as though being a member of a family. The second semester was exceptionally boring, partly because I had been slashed one class. The only thing i could do off work is to watch DVDs and play Zuma. Such experience often filled me with a sense of guilty, which continues now.That summer, instead of going back home, I went to Shanghai to attend the class for interpretation training. To be honest, I didn’t achieve what I had expected of, except seeing on my own what a cosmopolitan city Shanghai is.
Ironically, however, I managed to learn that there is still a long way to go before I realize my dream of becoming an excellent interpreter. When I have my way back, Shanghai was still in a hot wave, and Qin was greeting me with a comfortable weather. There was a subtle awareness in my mind that I should carry out my long-term plan step by step. Time always flows faster than you can feel when you want to do something really involves time. Before I devoted myself into the efforts for the Master Entrance Examination, I dangled between determination and laziness. So flied the callous time. The real beginning was October, when I realized there is not much time to abuse. As for that pressure-loaded period and the arduous experience, I have no inclination to recall now. That is why I call now a new start. I have to say that, right now, I am still in a deep confusion and uncertainty. Whatever happened and will happen, I will brace up full spirit to do my utmost. I hope that promise would not be a blank note anymore. May 24 Cannot Help Loving You 嗯，喜欢刘翔，还要说理由吗？也要加两句的啊。那么多体坛明星，影视明星，为啥就喜欢翔翔呢？其实最吸引我的地方是他发自内在的自信和傲气，其他的，比如体育技能等，其实姚明等很多人都具备的，并不是什么differentiator. 其实翔翔也有失利和低谷的时候，可是他不会显出丝毫的焦虑；面对媒体和翔迷们，他会坦然地说，我尽力了。就是喜欢他这一点，不顾虑别人对自己的评价，只要无愧于心就好。所以，即使翔翔在2008年没有得到冠军，我还会一如既往地喜欢他。喜欢那举手投足间的自信，喜欢他的搞怪坏笑，喜欢他的正直和爱国正义感，喜欢他讽刺日本媒体的犀利，喜欢他，还用更多理由吗？
  May 19 Pray for the Dead and the Survivors It is the first time since I was born to experience the profound grief for the multitude of death in the national disaster. The 5.12 earthquake really carries on every one's heart. People at each level and in all walks of life are deeply concerned about the catastrophic calamity. We Chinese people have demonstrated remarkable solidarity, courageous detemination to face up great difficulties and outstanding intelligence. When I saw the apprehension on the face of Premier Wen, I had a strong move to sob. With a premier like Wen and so many Chinese patriots, the quake is nothing but a arduous test that will vanish soon. I'd like to pray for the dead to live well in the heaven and those surviors to cherish their bliss of surviving and life to come. Bless you,China. May 10 婚宴 苹果 公交车 又一个婚宴。小时候喜欢参加婚礼，能看到新娘子，花车，放鞭炮，吃好吃的。可是那时却很少有人请我们。 现在倒是很多，却不再感兴趣了。讨厌那些例行公事。没办法，人生就是这样，要做很多自己不喜欢做的事情，要和讨厌的人强颜欢笑，要为没有意义的事放下姿态去争取，要和不会让自己心动的人结婚......很多人就是这样过了一辈子，被动地适应生活。我做不到，真的做不到。跟静静说，30岁时如果没有事业有成，就自杀。她总拿这个做笑柄。死有什么可怕，比起平庸地做生活的奴隶，得意人光环下的陪衬，死何尝不是一种高雅的选择？今天吃苹果第二天。痛苦自不用说，看到婚宴上那些平时自己的最爱--排骨、四喜丸子，我丝毫没有动摇。佩服自己的定力，可怜的自尊。是的，精神的颓废比什么都让我感到恐惧，我不能让自己胖，要让自己好看，自信，骄傲。不管别人怎么看，我要完美，那些必须拥有的完美。幸福没有定义，它只是一种标准。在我看来很可怜的人，他们确实发自内心的幸福。我感觉纯粹的幸福的时候不多，可是追逐幸福的过程本身就很幸福，即使要付出很多艰辛。我不能适应生活，那样我会疯的。这些日字总是贪睡，觉得睡觉是很幸福的事。不打算再这样。是的，梦想是不能等的，要紧紧跟随。自己一个人拎着一袋苹果坐着公交车回来。落寞，任性，安静的思考。 May 08 Fucking damn fat! keep me ooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!! For the next four days, I'm going to carry out the "only-eating-apple" plan, horrible to hear, but even more horrible to try!!! It is really scary in that after 4 days I will become extremely irritated and hard to control. No choice, however! I hate fat, kill them!! Keep me off!!! Stay away from me!!! Leave me alone!!! So those bony girls keep me off too, so as not to be cold-eyed!  May 05 Keep awake It's another Monday noon and as usual there is a whole afternoon of classes. I should have been taking a nap so as not to be tired. Only awake. I am trying all means to make some changes with the purpose of being able to invigorating myself. It will really work? I made up myself, althought too awkward to do so, to turn up with a new look. Having too little sleep last night, i can still keep awake, not awaring what I am doing. Just enjoy the advent of another summer day or reflect on the memorable bitter-sweet past? The graduation day is approaching, I think that is one of the reasons why I am so melancholic. Two yeas have drifted past and if there is indeed any subtle changes in my way of dealing with vagueness, it would be worth the second and hours writing all this. May 04 At sea No more once more, this is the last beginning, I hope. Tired of preparing for the meaningless exams, BUT I have to, to stand myself in a good stead for the dreams. I hate making unimplemented plans, I hate doing nothing to change, I hate indulging myself into succumbing to the existing unsatisfactory circumstances, I hate looking into the mirror mourning for myself. I hate everything that generate pessimism and frustrations. I am at sea now, a sea without boundary sometimes making me horrified for the overwhelming torrents. With the passage of time, I find myself realistic, which I doubt to be the demonstration of cowardness and apprehension. I have leanrt to read and try to reward the warmness of obscure affection I had never wanted. I am at sea about how I should live my life, a life of indistinctive mediocrity or a life of unique splendor. I am trying hard to wave the oar of my lifeboat to eacape the peril of giving away my unswerving determinations. May god bless me! |
Start right here!|
|
