No idea where to start my topic, after all, It's a new semester, a new starting point.

     Baby jing picked me up the day I went back, I have to say no one care me so much as her. But why am I always so greedy for her love? I have stayed in Jing's home for 7 days but today I have to be alone. Jing told me she has to go to her

grandma. When I found myself always weeping for Jing, I have to tell myself I cannot do without her. The thing is whether we match each other, whether we will have a good future without being influenced by so many obstacles coming from everywhere, people, society. Actually, I have long been able to ignore the bias in this more or less traditional country, since I realized I can never have my love compensated. But Jing is still young, I'm not sure if she can hang in there for ever. Sometimes I felt exhausted, not because I am still lingering for a good boy to give me true love for I don't need it at all, I can love myself. The only reason is the paradox between my persistence and her vagueness, although the vagueness is too small to care about. I hate my perfection pursuit, it really hurts.

     I know it's difficult for me to fall in love with someone else, but I have to wake up some day. I'm still young and still ignorant, I have so many things to learn that I cannot afford so much time crying with myself.

     I hope I will become a success before I become an "old girl". I fear about the approch of my 30 so I must force myself head forward without cowardness.